Amelia Jane Rutherford
If there is such a thing as spanking superstars, then Amelia Jane Rutherford is definitely one of a very select few. The English bondage and spanking model goes by the name of Amelia for spanking and Ariel Anderssen for her bondage work. Amelia has worked with nearly everyone from Firm Hand Spanking to Clare Fonda to Dallas Spanks Hard.
This interview took place in February 2009.
When was your first spanking?
It was very late I’m afraid. I was thinking about spanking for a long time but the first time I was spanked was when I was 23. So I waited a long time for that to happen.
When I was about 18 I realized that my childhood was definitely behind me and the time when you are most at risk of being spanked is in your childhood. And I realized that mine had certainly passed with no spanking happening. And I remember thinking at the age of 18 sort of thinking “oh no, I’ve missed that opportunity, obviously no-ones going to spank me now because I’m a grownup”. I remember thinking that’s really sad and I started wondering what job I could go into that would make it more likely that something like spanking would happen. I couldn’t think of one at all. I thought maybe the army, I’d get captured and tortured but that really wasn’t what I wanted to happen. No I wanted spanking. And so no, I remember being quite in despair really.
Was the first time with a boyfriend?
Yes. He’s my ex boyfriend. So my first spanking was with someone I now have no respect for and no relationship with. And, of course, looking back my first spanking was rubbish because he didn’t know what he was doing. But, of course, at the time it was the most exciting thing in the world. But I suppose, while that was the first time I was spanked the first time it properly happened was when I went to my first spanking shoot, because then I was working with a professional who knew exactly what he was doing. I remember I was very very frightened because I thought I don’t actually know how much this is going to hurt. You know, I’d watched a lot of videos but I’d had no idea how bad this was going to be. [The shoot] started and I thought “oh no, I’m not into this, this really hurts”. But then afterwards I enjoyed remembering it so I thought “no, the kink’s still there!”
Why do you think that professionals spank hard and boyfriends and girlfriends don’t?
It’s very interesting how much variety there is in how hard spanking is considering it’s the same thing, everyone’s using their hand, if we just talk about hand-spanking. And I think obviously loads of people play around with spanking in the bedroom. Even if they’re not particularly into it. And, I guess, that kind of spanking can be quite light and quite playful. But if you’re really wanting to make a good video or if you’re really wanting to play seriously it’s a whole different experience. And in my experience of doing it for fun and at work it seems like people who have been doing it for a while, I’m not sure what happens to their hands, maybe their hands get desensitized. Because actually spanking someone, if you’ve never done it before, really hurts your hand. I tried it a couple of times. I don’t like it, it’s not my scene, but I tried it and the pain in your hand is much worse than the pain of being spanked. So I think these people who have been doing it for a while get like this weapon on the end of their arm. And, you know it’s scary, you know if you meet one of those people.
Do you prefer playing for fun vs. working?
When I’m playing for fun I like things to feel quite serious. So, I don’t like playful spanking ever. I like it always to feel real and always to feel like a serious event. So, I’m sure there are people who can take it harder at work than they want to in their personal life, for me it might even be the other way round. In a movie I’m always a little bit distracted by trying to do a good job and trying to look nice. But, in my private life, I can concentrate on nothing except the spanking. And so then I think maybe my tolerance goes up in private.
Something about subs and dommes…
Sometimes when I’m playing or even at a video shoot I sometimes feel quite guilty because the person who’s getting all the sensation of the spanking, which obviously for people who like it is great, is the sub. So the sub gets all the sensation, most of the physical experience of the spanking is felt by me, the bottom. Sometimes I think, because I’m not a top and don’t switch, that I just can’t see what you get out of it if you’re the top or the domme. And I guess I never really will. Some people try to explain it to me but it just seems like such a removed way of getting pleasure, but for me I’m getting the sensation, I’m getting the endorphins and I’m getting the adrenaline and that’s lovely. I wish I could see it from the top’s point of view but I guess I never will.
You said that people who give a lot of spankings get harder hands. Has your bottom developed a tolerance too?
Well, the first time I did a spanking movie it was moderately intense but not over the top at all and my whole bottom went black, pure bruising for over a week. And then the next few times I did a spanking video the same thing, terrible bruising. And then my bottom started to recover much faster and bruise less. Now it has to be something quite severe in order to get really bad marks for more than a day. Unfortunately the pain I feel is exactly the same as the first time and I don’t think that’s ever going to change now. I do know girls who have been doing it for long enough that their tolerance keeps getting higher and they need more to get themselves to the same level of excitement. But for me every time is kind of like a first time, but my bottom is telling a different story really.
What is it that you like about a spanking?
Some masochists or submissives say it’s about the pain, and for those people even hurting themselves they can get some pleasure from it. So from time to time they might not have a partner and they say “oh well, I just do so and so to myself”. Now that doesn’t appeal to me at all because for me it’s all about being controlled. So for me I can have a really fun spanking session or BDSM session and there doesn’t actually have to be any spanking there can be all these other things that make me think all my control has been taken away from me and that I’m being punished. So, it’s not all about the sensation, although I like the sensation. I think I would agree with people who say it’s all about the feeling afterwards rather than the feeling at the time. Certainly during the first spanking I ever experienced that’s exactly what I felt, I felt my gosh, this is just horrible, then afterwards I thought “mmm yeah it’s horrible” [cheeky grin] So yeah I think I might be one of those people who isn’t a true masochist, it’s much more from my temperament that I get my pleasure I think.
It’s tricky talking about the things I like as well as spanking because I know that some people that love spanking don’t like the other stuff that for me goes along with it quite naturally. So all my life I’ve fantasized about spanking alongside being kidnapped, tied up or abused or just treated really badly by someone in authority. So, for me there’s a really wide variety of stuff that I like to do and I like to do in movies. But for me I either have to do straight spanking in movies or I have to go and do a bondage movie. And there’s not much that does both unless I was prepared to do hardcore work, which I’m not. So at home, because I get to do loads of spanking movies, I tend to like things that are a bit more subtle and a bit more psychological. So, at my house there are lots of house rules that I have to keep. And it wouldn’t make a good movie because it’s far too subtle and not very visual, but it gives me a lot of happiness. And for me it makes me feel very similar to how being spanked makes me feel.
It sounds like a really subtle form of roleplaying.
My fantasy life involves a lot more storytelling and the stories I tell in my head are kind of complicated. I certainly know people who could totally fantasize about a hand coming down on their bottom and they way that felt, but for me I need to know why, who the person doing it is so all this has to be constructed in my head before it starts to be a fantasy. So my fantasies are quite complicated and that’s one reason I really like making spanking movies because you get to play out the whole story leading up to the spanking. Which is why I like to make spanking movies a lot more than I like to make spanking clips. Because a five minute clips just doesn’t have time for a great big story about what a naughty girl you’ve been, whereas a movie definitely does and that’s where I get a lot of my pleasure from.
Favourite spanking fantasy?
My favourite spanking fantasies change quite a lot but they split into two branches.
The first is getting spanked for something I definitely did by someone who has the moral high ground by someone who is quite kind but very stern. A good example of this would be your classic school fantasy. I’ve just been appalling and this kind teacher, who’s getting no pleasure in having to punish me, punishes me anyway, just for my own good. That’s really hot.
But, the other branch of my main fantasies is being treated really badly and being very much the innocent victim. And, in that kind of fantasy I’m wearing a white dress and am very scared and very victim-y and the person doing the spanking is a cruel Viking warlord or something and definitely does not have the moral high ground, just has the power.
So those are my two favourite families of fantasies. If I’m looking for a fantasy I’d always go to those two first.
Chicken and egg theory. Does porn create certain fantasies?
In my experience porn doesn’t create a taste in you. I feel like you already have sexual tastes and go find something that matches it. Because certainly I’ve watched examples of porn that weren’t my thing and it did nothing for me. I’ve watched balloon fetish and it hasn’t spoken to me personally. No, I feel like your sexual identity is fixed by the time you’re old enough to see porn. I can see that if you got hold of it when you were very young it would certainly affect you. But when I hear people talking about the power of pornography to change people they’re always talking about other people, it’s not changed them. I don’t see porn having the power to do that myself, for me.
Before I got spanked if you’d have asked me what I fantasized about being hit with I’m not entirely sure because all I remember is fantasizing about the scenarios so when I moved into doing spanking stuff professionally I wasn’t sure what the options were implement-wise. But then I did some research and I discovered that the cane is really the thing to be scared of. So the first time I was caned I hated it but it was the thing I found myself thinking about the most afterwards. So, for me it’s very complicated, the things I like most are the things I hate most, and the things I can take and feel ok with I guess don’t excite me so much.
So, there’s the intimacy of hand spanking and I think that most spankees would agree that it’s the most personal of all the CP implements and if I can’t be hand spanked I rather have the complete opposite extreme and have the most formal, terrifying scary implement.
I don’t like paddles because I just find them a bit too scary and not in a good way. As the paddle’s going back and I know it’s going to hit me in my head I have this picture of my pelvis just splitting in two from the impact. Whereas no other implement makes me feel like that so there’s something about the paddle, it just seems like to heavy an implement to me to meet with flesh. But everything else I actually like.
Any kind of fantasy you haven’t done but would like to? And why?
My fantasies change quite a lot so I don’t ever think I’ll get to the stage where I’ll have run out of spanking fantasies and move onto something else. I like the idea of being spanked by someone who isn’t English, just for being English for all the crimes we’ve committed over the centuries. That just came out of nowhere and I feel like I’ll always have fantasies like that, that just come out of nowhere. No I feel like I’ll never get to the end of the fantasy world.
My favourite position is an unoriginal one, it’s probably what most people like, and it’s over the knee. And I like it because you can be held down while you’re spanked, which is one of my favourite things. So normally if you see my movies you’ll see my arm flail out like that to protect my bottom. And it’s not usually not because I want to protect my bottom, it’s usually because I want them to do the best thing which is grabbing my arm and putting it behind my back. So, I think that will always be my favourite position.
But, that said I like formal punishments, so really formal exposed kind of positions, maybe on a trestle or over an A-frame, something like that would make me quite happy as well because it feels quite judicial, which I like.
Men / women spanking you and why?
All my fantasies all my life have been about men spanking me. Never fantasized about a woman spanking me and I guess that’s simply down to the fact that I’m heterosexual. The idea of a girl doing it never really did much for me. That said, as a professional spankee, I do scenes from time to time with a woman doing it. And I have found that it is certainly a different experience for me but because it’s a woman for some reason I really feel this responsibility to be quite brave. I don’t mind making this big fuss and crying all over a man but I’m certainly not prepared to do that with a woman spanking me. So I feel a lot more competitive because a lot of the ladies who are spanking you as a top started off as a bottom so I certainly don’t want them thinking “oh dear, she’s not very tough, is she” So, actually the experience is very different, less sexy but quite interesting for me.
So, spankings are sexual?
I don’t think that if spankings weren’t sexual for me, I don’t think I could take the pain of them. Because I don’t have a high pain tolerance, some people just do, and I don’t. And I know that from time to time a shoot will happen that really isn’t my cup of tea or I’m not feeling particularly comfortable with the person doing the spanking or something else has gone wrong or I’m not feeling very well.. and I notice that because I’m not finding it very sexual at all, all I can notice is how much it hurts. And this doesn’t happen very much at all, but on those occasions I’ve thought “bloody hell, what am I doing? This is a terrible way of making a living” So no, if it’s not sexual I can’t really take it to be honest.
In that case, if you don’t do porn but you do spanking, isn’t that the same thing?
You could certainly argue that shooting spanking movies is like shooting porn, and I can’t argue with that. I can’t argue with the fact that for some people it would seem like exactly the same thing. To me I suppose I wanted to do it so much I didn’t really care. As a mainstream model I’d worked out what my limits were and I so wanted to do spanking that I don’t think I can afford to care what people might think it is or isn’t. I’m just going to do it and I’m going to do it under my terms, which means that I’m not going to suddenly have someone using a vibrator on me just because they’ve been allowed to spank me. I’m not going to do open leg shots just because I’m doing spanking work. I’m going to do spanking and that’s going to be it. And something that I’ve been quite strict about is not shooting sexual scenes, so I don’t like to do scenes where my character is supposed to be getting sexual pleasure from being spanked. I want to keep it as a quite straight punishment scenario. And how sexual people find that to watch.. well I hope they do find it sexual, of course, but for me it’s a world away from shooting something that is explicitly sexual because I think the sexuality of spanking is much more complicated and hidden that the sexuality of a porn film.
Read more of Amelia’s thoughts at her blog.. Amelia Jane Rutherford’s blog
See more of Amelia Jane Rutherford’s work at her Spanking Models List Profile